The Blog Remembers When

So, yeah, it’s been a while since I’ve written a blog. Over 2 months.

As some of you know, I started a new job on March 5th. LOVE the job, LOVE the commute (1.5 miles) even more, but it is INSANELY busy most days. Which leads me to eat like garbage and skip workouts.

Yesterday was May 1st. I’ve been kind of on and off exercise since starting this job. I’m really trying to do the morning thing before work, but I’ve been struggling to find consistency with that. I’ve been feeling like I’m backsliding, so, being May 1st, I figured I need to see where I stood. I decided to take my measurements to REALLY see if things have changed.

Weight: 223 lbs.
Measurements: Calves stayed the same, biceps went down half an inch, everything else: up. UP. BY AT LEAST HALF AN INCH.

Whoa, nellie.

Back the freaking truck up.

WAKE-UP CALL!!! I mean, duh, not like I didn’t know I’ve been eating craptastically and not working out like I was, but to really realize the results of that was like being smacked in the head with a frying pan.

THAT is not me. THAT is not WORKOUT GIRL. THAT is Angry Fat Girl. THAT has got to stop.

Effective immediately, my head has been removed from Angry Fat Girl’s butt. I went to the gym for Body Step this morning at 5:30 and burned 615 calories before breakfast (which wasn’t donuts). Tomorrow, I will be at the gym again at 5:30 a.m. for BodyPump (strength is where it’s AT!)

My May goals:
1) Get to the gym at least 3x/week
2) Get back to running at least 2x/week (not just in races!)
3) Lose 5 pounds

I’ve been basically maintaining my weight since October. I did get down to 217 at one point, but for the past couple of months I’ve been hovering between 220-223. I’d really like to get down to 216 (or less) by the end of the month.

I have 2 races this month…the Runway 5K on May 12th, and my second Warrior Dash on May 19th (EEK!!). Tomorrow is my 1 year runniversary…I started the Couch to 5K program on May 3rd of last year.

It’s time. No more excuses. I’m happy I maintained my weight loss, but I’d be a whole lot happier if I’d lost more. I’m doing this. This time next year, I will not be writing another “well I half-assed it and only lost 20 lbs” blog.

Workout Girl is on it!!!

Get the Funk Out!

I have been lazy.  L-A-Z-Y.

If you know me, you probably wonder what the heck I’m talking about.  I just ran a 10K, I exercise a lot, I’m on the go all the time.  Not what most people would consider lazy.  The 10K was AWESOME. I felt a fire I hadn’t felt in a while.  Then I went back to being lazy.

Here’s what I mean:  for the past couple of weeks, something has been missing.  Motivation has waned.  I’ve been working out, but not as much as I had been.  I’ve had a hard time getting out there to run, and when I do run, I’ve been doing the treadmill to avoid the hills in my neighborhood.  I skipped Zumba yesterday, something that I VERY rarely do.  I’ve been eating like crap, because I’ve been too lazy to prepare the food I bought at the grocery store (you know, washing strawberries and grapes, etc).  I’ve been buying lunch at work because I’ve been too lazy to pack my lunchbag in the morning.  Showering seems like a chore again.  My weight is holding steady, but I feel like I’m slowly backsliding to the me I was a year ago, and I don’t like it.  Not one bit.  Until today, I didn’t really know what to do about it.  Every day, I keep saying, I’m going to do xy and z, but then I give myself “permission” to do z, but skip x and y.  I’ve been making excuses.

I’m attributing this “funk” to the stress of my impending job change.  I’m a worrier.  I’m leaving a perfect job (other than the commute), for a new job.  I always worry when I start new jobs that I won’t live up to what I sold in the interview.  I worry that I will hate my new boss.  I worry that I will hate what I have to do on a daily basis.  I worry about the fact that I won’t have a paycheck for the next month.  Worry. Worry. Stress. Stress. Worn out. L-A-Z-Y.

I dragged myself down to the gym today, just because I felt like I needed to.  I was going to run, but I didn’t have my running shoes or earphones, so I decided not to risk injuring myself by wearing the wrong shoes just to run for the sake of running.  So, I settled on the elliptical.  I set it on level 2, with random hills, then proceeded to play Words with Friends on my phone for a bit.  I was kind of “phoning it in”.  BTW – it was freaking HOT in the gym, which was NOT helping.  Then something clicked as I was watching my profile in the mirror next to the elliptical and admiring cringing at the side view of my belly.

Being lazy is what got me that belly.  Being lazy is what got me to 260 pounds.  Being lazy is NOT what got me down to 220 pounds.  Being lazy is NOT what got me to finish that half marathon.  Being afraid of what people think of me when I’m lifting weights is NOT what got me strong shoulders.  SUCK IT UP WORKOUT GIRL!!

At that exact moment, I put my damn phone down and killed the rest of the time on the elliptical.  I did 2.2 miles and burned over 400 calories in 30 minutes.  Then…I went and grabbed 10 lb dumbbells, got on the floor on my back and did lying dumbbell flies, tricep extensions, torso twists with one dumbbell, and a whole bunch of other random acts of fitness.  I also completed week 1, day 2 of the 100 pushup training program…16 pushups.  In between my sets of pushups, I did various crunches, situps, and leg lifts.  I already feel stronger.  I was focused on my arm muscles when I was doing those pushups, and they were much easier than they were 2 days ago.  When I was done, I went and bought a salad and grapes for lunch.  You know what? It was just as satisfying as the cheesesteak and french fries I had yesterday for lunch. (I know, I can hear your collective gasp.)

So, as of right now, I’m back.  You didn’t know I was gone, but I did.  The funk is gone, and I’m doing this.  The right way.  Again.

Reflection

Do you ever have that out of body experience?  Like, you know what’s going on around you is meant for you, but it doesn’t seem like it is really you in the moment?

This is how I’ve been feeling for months now, in a good way for the most part, but this past weekend really kind of cemented this thought in my head.

I’ve been struggling with the scale for the past two weeks.  I’ve been struggling with running motivation for the past month, since my half marathon.  I’ve been working out regularly, but I haven’t been running.  I’ve been fiddling with numbers and trying to get my eating “just right”.  January was a weird month for me.

Something clicked over the weekend though.  During a time of month where I am normally down and in a bad mood, I found peace.  I found balance.  I found parts of me that I didn’t know existed.

As most people who follow me know, weight loss has been kind of secondary to the mental health aspects of exercise for me.  While I want and NEED to lose weight, I started exercising regularly for reasons far beyond my physical fitness and appearance.  Of course, I knew physical improvements were bound to follow, but my main motivation to exercise was to fix my moods and help me find this person inside of me I had lost a long time ago.

What’s interesting to me is that not only am I finding that person I lost, but there’s also this new (to me) part of me that is emerging.  I’m still not quite ready to grasp this part, maybe I’m in denial, but apparently it is out there for the world to see.

I’m a very honest person.  Everything I say and do is the truth, whether people like that or not.  Sometimes that can be a bad thing.  Right now, it seems to be a very good thing.  By being honest and open, I have been able to reach people.  I have nothing to gain from that.  I have a FB page, I have a Sparkpeople profile, I have a MyFitnessPal profile, all of which were created by me, for me.  I don’t make money off them, I am not a professional anything, other than and Office Manager for a media company.  I do everything on my own time, just because I want to.

I’m the same person I used to be, but I have also created this new part of me.  The runner.  The athlete.  The inspiration.  (OK, that’s just weird to say.)  I still haven’t wrapped my head around all this, but it is what it is.  At least, this is how everyone seems to perceive me at this point.

Some things that brought this to the forefront:

• Over the past week, I had two separate people – one whom I’ve know since I was 10 years old (for those who are counting, that’s 25 years) and one whom I’ve never met in person and just know from FB, after “meeting” on the  C25K page – send me a link to the SAME EXACT run, telling me they thought of me when they saw it.  I can guarantee you that the person who has known me for 25 years would never in a million years have thought to send that link to me a year ago.
• Another friend whom I’ve known since I was 10 years old, posted on my wall that she was starting C25K because I inspired her to do so, after giving birth to her 3rd child.  She was always very athletic and thin, so for her to say I inspired her was shocking, to say the least.
• I walked into a Super Bowl party last night, 30 minutes late, because I HAD to fit my run in and then had to have a shower before going to the party.
• When I walked into that Super Bowl party, I was immediately told by someone that she was starting the C25K program because of me also.
• Less than 20 minutes later, I had another person talking to me about my half marathon, and telling me that I should definitely do the Marine Corps Marathon.  We compared training programs and “talked shop” about running.  So weird.

I made myself get on the treadmill and run over the weekend.  BOTH days.  Both days I pushed past my “wall” that I seem to hit at about a mile and a half.  I ran 3.75 miles on Saturday, and 4 miles on Sunday without stopping.  I had never made it past 30 minutes of running on the treadmill prior to Saturday.  I also had only run the 5K distance without walking twice, once was in the half marathon.  I doubled that over the weekend.  As I was warming up on the treadmill yesterday, I received a FB message from an old high school acquaintance.  We were not close friends in school, and even though we are FB friends, we very rarely have interaction.

Here is the message:

“Just wanted to let you know that I start my trek to healthy tomorrow and you and one other person are my inspiration.  Seeing your posts everyday has made me realize that I am the only one to blame for what I have become and I am so proud of you.  My hope is that one day we can get together with some other friends from long ago and maybe run a marathon.  I will be making daily posts and continue to watch yours.  Thank you for being so brave.”

Honestly, that message brought tears to my eyes, and gave me the motivation I needed to make sure I pushed through that “I don’t wanna” feeling I had when I first got on the treadmill.

On Saturday afternoon, I was “tagged” in someone’s post on her own personal page:

“For all of my workout friends and other friends who need some motivation to get in shape and healthy, check out Workout Girl. She is so motivational. Her daily blogs have truly made me want to do better for myself. This is a blog and journey of her weight-loss.”

That just floored me.

What I don’t think people realize is that you all inspire ME daily.  If I didn’t have a place to come to like this to vent and whine and brag and just dump all my “stuff”, I very likely would be in a very different place than I am right now.  I do not take these messages for granted.  If my daily ramblings touch people enough to make them want to better themselves, then I feel like I have a purpose.  I have a purpose outside of being a wife/mom/office manager.  I never thought I did.  I’ve always been average.  Girl next door.  I’ve never been the “hot chick”, I’ve never been the “super athlete”, I’ve never been the “superstar”.  I’m decent at things, but I’ve never been really good at anything (other than spelling…LOL).

So, to all of you who follow me, and take the time to send me messages like these, or just comment or even just “like” my posts…thank you.  Thank you for making me feel special.  Thank you for helping me find my purpose, and for being here with me on this journey to a better me.  Whether or not I lose another pound, or ever get my 35 minute 5K time, I feel I have succeeded in something.

Nutri-ligion

Chrystal and I were talking earlier today and we both mentioned blogs we were in the process of writing.  Interestingly enough, they were almost exactly the same, mostly having to do with nutrition, and how strongly people feel about how they eat.  Even more interesting than that, Chrystal and I have close to 100 pounds that separate what we weigh.  We are both healthy, we both eat processed foods from time to time, we both drink Diet Coke, we both have people who very adamantly tell us how we should be eating.

Here is Chrystal’s original blog:

When did fitness and nutrition become a religion? Typically (or perhaps I should say stereotypically) people believe in their particular “religion” or beliefs so sincerely, they feel their way is the only way. Religion is something that is very personal. It comes together from childhood, family beliefs, social surroundings, self awareness, personal research, etc. The beliefs are formed and probably tweaked along the way. (Sort of like our eating habits.) Whatever your religion, you BELIEVE in it. If someone told you your beliefs were wrong, you would probably defend them passionately. However, if you explored other religions you might find one aspect of it that makes sense to you intellectually.

Fitness and nutrition have suddenly become the same (or am I just noticing this)? Paleo and vegetarians seem to be in some kind of war against each other. Their schools of thought are so completely different, yet they are passionate THEIR way is the best (and only) way to fuel your body. Each can provide mounds of research to back up their thinking. So, how can that be? How can research prove that both are awesome for your body? Because either one can be awesome for your body. There are perfect examples of phenomenal athletes on both sides. Olympian Amanda Beard eats a Paleo diet. Wait a second. Amanda Beard eats a vegetarian diet. Actually, I have no idea what Amanda Beard currently eats. Obviously both diets have served her well. (Hello? She’s an Olympian!)

Here’s the point – you have to find what works for YOU! I rarely eat meat anymore. Meat doesn’t agree with my digestive system. Does that mean I think you should give up meat? Um…yeah, I can’t even imagine telling my husband that. If meat works for you, then I think that’s awesome. I know lots of super hot people who eat lean meats. It works for them. I’m not going to tell them they’re going to hell they can’t be fit, or hot, or awesome if they eat meat. Just like I hope you aren’t going to tell me I can’t build muscle by eating a mostly vegetarian diet. There’s more than one way to skin a cat so to speak (sorry, vegetarians).

Clean eating is AWESOME! In theory. I would love to eat clean(er). The reality is, I eat frozen meals for lunch. Usually washed down with a diet coke. (I’ll wait while you spew out your coconut water.) Now, before you preach to me about artificial this and processed that, just know that I get where you’re coming from. BUT this works for me. Could I be better? Hell yes! I bet you could too. But there’s this little thing called life and I have to live it. I have to decide how extreme or not I want to live. I know that if I don’t eat completely clean, I’m probably not going to have totally crazy ripped abs. I’m okay with my flat(ish) abs.

Whether you are a Baptist or a Catholic, a vegetarian or a Paleo, please know that there is no ONE way that works for everyone. There’s a reason there’s freedom of religion in the constitution. So, don’t make me bust out my feather pen and write up a nutrition rule book!

And here is mine (originally title “How Does This Thing Work”):

By “this”, I mean weight loss.

As for working…it doesnt, you do.

There are tons of products/diets/theories/workouts that claim to help you lose weight. Some free, some expensive, some dangerous to your health.

There are also tons of studies “proving” why this plan is better than that plan, or telling you your body needs to be fueled a certain way to lose fat/perform better/yada yada yada.

The kicker? Most of them are right.

How, you ask? Pretty much every plan can work for at least one person…if that persons wants to lose weight bad enough and works for it.

Weight Watchers works…if you are willing to follow the points system.

Jenny Craig works…if you are willing to pay what it costs and eat Jenny Craig food.

Diet pills work…if you exercise and eat well…some at a cost to your health.

Exercise works…if you put in the work, and don’t eat back all the calories you burn.

Paleo works…if you are willing to eat low/no carbs and high fat foods.

Clean eating works…if you are willing to put in the time for food prep and follow specific guidelines.

The Subway diet.

Slim Fast

Nutrisystem

Hcg

South Beach

The Twinkie diet

Etc etc

You’ve probably heard of all or at least some of these.  Somewhere, there is someone who has had success with each and every one of them.  Here are my thoughts on this:

1. If I search the internet long enough, I can find a study that says everything is bad for me.  Then, I can probably find a study that said that thing that was just bad for me, is actually good for me.
2. This is not my first barbecue.  I’ve lost weight before.  Not on a diet, and no I didn’t get fat again after losing the weight because I stopped doing what I needed to do.  I lost 40 pounds in 5 months by logging my food and exercising, and sticking to around 1700 calories/day during the week.  I didn’t log on weekends.  Did I give up anything? Nope.  I still ate cake, I still ate McDonald’s (yes, I can see your eye rolls from here), I just logged everything, tried to make the best choices when I did eat bad, and watched how MUCH I ate.  It WORKED.
3. I’ve lost over 40 pounds this time around, doing it pretty much the same way, except up until about a week ago, I wasn’t really logging or paying *that much* attention to calories.

The thing that people have to understand is that just because it works for you, or you think it is the best way, doesn’t mean that is the ONLY way for every single person.  I’ve chosen to do this mostly with exercise.  Why?  Because that is where I’ve had the success.  That is the part that is easiest for me.  That is what I have been able to do consistently for 8 months.  I don’t talk about food a lot because I know there are a lot of people who probably think I’m doing it the “wrong” way, and want to persuade me to come over to their way of thinking.  Why would I change if I am having success doing what I am doing?  I’m perfectly healthy, I have a level of fitness that is on par with some people half my size, and I’m happy.  I’m a busy mom of 2, and I do the best I can with what resources I have.  The resource I’m short on most is time.  What I do, is what fits into my lifestyle.  What you do, is what fits into your lifestyle.  I don’t pass judgment on anyone else for their food choices, because it’s a personal decision, and unless you have an eating disorder, that has absolutely nothing to do with me.  Just as what I eat should have no bearing on your life.  It truly is okay to have different ways of doing things.

Your Two Fit Freaks ~ Tiffany & Chrystal

A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes – My First Half Marathon, At 222 Pounds (with pics)

On September 11, 2011, I made the decision to start training for a half marathon…just 2 short months after running my very first 5K. Not only A half marathon, but the Walt Disney World half marathon. Why? Because it was 3 days before my 35th birthday.

Thursday, January 5, 2012: Loaded up the kids and the hubby at 4:30 a.m. and hit the road. Disney or bust!!
After a 13 hour drive, we made it there:

Friday, January 6, 2012:

Off to the expo for packet pickup. I teared up waiting in line for mine. Nerves hit HARD.
On the bus to the expo:

The expo:

My bib:

We hit the parks for a few hours, then headed back to the hotel for some sleep, since we had to be up at 3 a.m. for the race.

Saturday, January 7, 2012 – RACE DAY!!

Out of bed at 3 a.m., on the bus at 3:45. I think I maybe had 30 minutes of good sleep. I was VERY nervous. I felt unprepared, since I hadn’t finished my training plan because of a hamstring injury.
We got off the bus and there were people EVERYWHERE. SO overwhelming.
Pre-race:
My chEAR squad: The view from where I stood at the start:

I had walked to the start with a lady named Liza who was a coach/mentor for Team In Training. She was there for a lady on her team who last year got “swept”, meaning she couldn’t maintain the 16 min/mile pace. She asked me if I had a running partner for training or the race, and I told her no, it was just me. She was astonished. I guess that’s rare for someone to train for something like this alone. She hugged me and wished me luck before we split to our corrals.

6 a.m. – My wave started.

Mile 1 – 13:00:47

Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry. Tons of people. Wow, I really have to pee. Not wasting time standing in line for port-a-potty. Please hamstring don’t fail me. Run a mile, then you can walk.
Mile 2 – 12:32:62

This feels good. Wow, I’m getting faster. Oh how I love Florida and its flat roads. Run 5K then you can walk.

Mile 3 – 12:37:50

Check me out!! I’m running and I’m not breathing heavy. I’m feeling good. Run as far as you can without walking. Maybe I can run the whole half marathon without stopping!!

Mile 4 – 14:10:12
Did I really just run 4.6 miles without stopping? Shut the front door! I’ve never done that before. Man I really have to pee. Is that a port-a-potty way over there with no line? Run like the wind!! Just because you had to pee doesn’t mean you can stop running. Run to the port-a-potty and run back from it.
Mile 5 – 13:30:56

Where the hell is the castle? Hubby texts me to tell me to stop at the bottom of the castle to get my picture taken. Texting and running = not easy. Finally stopped to walk for about 15 seconds going uphill just before the castle. Look! My family!! Castle pic time…suck in the belly so you look GOOOOOD.

High fives to hubby and kids, and I’m off again.

Mile 6 – 14:50:99

Slowing down…I thought there were food stations around here? Powerade it is. I can walk a bit…everyone else is. Why are the insides of my arms chafing? That never happens when I wear a tank top.

Mile 7 – 14:23:32

Hanging in there. I can do this. Why are all these people stopping for photos with characters? No time for that! More than halfway there!! Whoop!!

Mile 8 – 15:13:42

OWWW. My feet hurt. Maybe I should’ve run intervals from the start instead of trying to run as far as I could. But I ran 5 miles without stopping!! Why do my feet hurt? My feet never hurt when I run! They’re hurting because I’m kicking so much ass. KEEP GOING. You’ve got this!

Mile 9 – 16:17:37
NEED.MORE.POWERADE. Gels? What happened to food?? I thought they were going to have orange slices?? Mocha Clif Shots…not so much. Good thing I have a Clif bar in my belt. Only 4 miles to go…you can DO this!

Mile 10 – 16:46:29
My chest hurts. Why does my chest hurt? Is it my lungs? I better walk a bit to make sure it’s not a heart attack. Only 5K to go…you’ve got this! EASY PEASY!!

Mile 11 – 17:10:78

Yeah, my time sucks. I’m not making it under 3 hours. Just need to finish. Keep running. GO GO GO!!

Mile 12 – 15:30:57

Oh yeah…getting it back. 1.1 to go!! Almost there!! Go Workout Girl, GOOOOO!!!
Mile 13 – 16:09:95

Had to stop and take a pic of mile marker 13:

A choir? Really? That’s kinda cool:

WHERE is the finish line???!!! This is the longest 0.1 miles EVVVVV-ERRRRR. “Great job Tiffany” Kinda cool they know my name because it’s on my bib. Look at all these people at Epcot already. Bet they wish they hadn’t come while the race was still going on. Gotta walk one more time…oh wait, that’s a photographer…can’t walk by a photographer. MUST. KEEP. RUNNING. I see the finish line!! I’m not dead. High five Donald and Goofy!! Holy moly there are photographers EVERYWHERE. Must look cool!! Gonna buy this finish line photo even if it sucks.
I FREAKING DID IT!!! I finished the half marathon!!! And I didn’t even have to crawl across the finish line!!
Official finish time: 3:19:25, and I placed 19,657 out of 22,421 finishers…and my Garmin said I actually went 3.4 miles because of the weaving in and out of people. I had hoped to finish under 3 hours, but with the amount of people, and stopping for the castle photo and the extra 0.3 miles, I think I did an AMAZING job.
I earned some awesome bling too:

Some other random photos from the race:

I’m a half marathon runner now. I earned my magnet.

Such an amazing experience. And….I’ll be back for more next year!!
Goofy challenge anyone?? 🙂